


All I Need

by gryffindorJ



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bring Back The Porn Challenge, Frottage, M/M, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2007-09-01
Updated: 2007-09-01
Packaged: 2019-08-24 01:35:25
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,388
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16630397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gryffindorJ/pseuds/gryffindorJ
Summary: Sirius wants to make amends with Remus.





	All I Need

Sirius was becoming increasingly disgruntled, every minute that ticked on, his posture displayed as much. He sat slumped in a chair - his arms crossed, his jaw clenching and unclenching, his dark brow lowered so that he eyes looked squinted in suspicion. Any one who was familiar with him at all would be able to tell just how upset he was. Instead of the ease and confidence he usually displayed, he was full of foreboding and spite. 

His eyes moved slightly under his dark lashes to look at James dancing with Evans. His stomach turned with jealousy because James had what he wanted. He should have been happy his best friend was no longer shagging the next available girl and finally had the one he always wanted. But Sirius wasn't happy; in fact he was reaching new levels of spite. Now not only did he hate the world, he hated himself for being stupidly envious; James was so happy. 

Sirius turned his head a fraction of an inch and gave his "date" an icy stare. She sat there with that silly smile on her face. Either too stupid or too happy to be, his date did not notice he wasn't interested in her at all. Probably both. Sirius didn't like brunettes or brown eyes and he really didn't like idiot girls who had both. What was he to do though? He had been given little choice. It wasn't the best thing to make amends but it was all he could think of - give Remus whatever he wanted.

The road they traveled had been full of many holes; they had made it past so many. This one needed to be filled in and paved over, or they would be off the path forever. It had been without question their worst fight.

********

Sirius peered closely in the mirror making slow passes with the blade along his jaw. Remus was at the next sink brushing his teeth. Sirius noticed Remus look over his shoulder; it was still fairly early, the boy’s bathroom was mostly empty. Remus leaned over the basin to spit, "Have you found a date for the graduation ball?"

Sirius chuckled. "I thought I didn't have to." He turned his head inspecting the side of his face for any remaining hairs.

"You should find a date otherwise people might wonder," Remus continued before taking a mouth full of water. 

"Wonder what?" Sirius said putting his razor down hard.

"You know we don't want to attract attention,” he answered too casually rinsing the sink. "If we are the only seventh year boys without dates it will be conspicuous."

"Conspicuous of what?" Sirius asked even though he already knew.

"Well, you know," Remus said standing up straight and walking away.

Sirius grabbed his things and followed after him. If Remus was ashamed and didn't want him, that was fine. But he better at least have to nerve to look him in the eye when he told him.

The door to the dormitory banged open and James immediately shot up in bed. "What the hell was that?" Sirius yelled glaring at Remus who was putting on his socks.

"What was what?" he replied still looking down.

"That pussy maneuver you just pulled in the bathroom!"

Remus looked up at Sirius, his face grim the reached for his shoes, "I don't think being overt is a good plan of action."

"So you want me but you don't want anyone to know?"

"That's not what I said." Remus whispered.

"Are you embarrassed about being with me?" Sirius asked.

No reply.

"Do you not want me?"

No reply.

"Is there someone else?"

No reply.

"GOD DAMN IT MOONY! IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE TOGETHER AT LEAST HAVE THE BALLS TO LOOK ME IN THE EYE WHEN YOU SAY IT!"

"Do you think this is easy? Do you think I want that?" Remus now yelled back looking at Sirius for the first time. 

"Sounds like it to me!"

"You have no idea how hard it is for me! The whispers, the suspicions, it's horrible. People look at you then turn away hoping you don't notice. I don't need to give them another reason!"

"I have always been there for you. I don't give a shit about that stupid thing you call a disease. I don't care what people think!"

"You do not know what it is like!"

"The hell I don't. Whispers? Looks? A pariah? Have you forgotten I live with James? Do you have some illusion that my home life was happy?" Sirius spat. 

"I know how it was for you." Remus said.

"Then don't tell me I don't know what it's like!" Sirius yelled.

"It's not the same. I will always be this way!" Remus yelled.

"Then choose not to let it affect your decisions!" 

"It isn't that easy." 

"YES IT IS!" Sirius shouted.

"Sirius don't! Don't strut around thinking you can make it better just by saying so, life is not that way. We can't all make a joke, flash a smile, and have the world bow for us!" 

'Then don't be a spineless prick hole who acts like life is too hard!" Sirius yelled enraged. 

"DO NOT CALL ME A COWARD!" Remus was shaking with anger.

"I call it exactly the way it is," Sirius said coldly as he saw Remus pull out his wand in a blink of an eye. Sirius stood there chest heaving in anger. He was unarmed; he had thrown his things down in a pile upon entering the room and had nothing but a towel around his waist. Sirius's eyes flicked to his wand sticking up out of the pile of pajamas and a dressing gown. 

"Go ahead Moony do the best you can, I can't stop you." Sirius tone mocked Remus. Remus's face twisted, his hand gripped tighter on his wand.

"NO! STOP!" James yelled jumping out of bed and placing himself between them. "Both of you need to relax. Moony put your wand down. Padfoot get dressed go eat." No one moved their places suspended in silence "MOVE NOW!" James ordered and Sirius spun around biting his tongue so as not to reply the scathing words burning in his mouth. He turned to his trunk; Wormtail quickly looked away from him and hurried about his business.

*******

Sirius finally looked at Remus and his date. Remus's deep blue dress robes made him look all the more handsome, playing off his sandy blond hair and blue eyes. Sirius couldn't take it anymore, he stood up to leave - he was done, term was over. He would go get his things and leave; no sense in sticking around another place nobody wanted him. 

Remus saw the slightest flash of the hem of Sirius's charcoal robes as he was leaving the Great Hall. 

Sirius was already on the stair to the third floor when he heard his name called - "Padfoot!" Sirius knew the voice; he picked up his pace and kept walking. Remus didn't stop. Though Sirius could hear him distantly behind him, Sirius would not turn back to confirm.

Sirius made it to Gryffindor Tower, his long legs and knowledge of secret passage ways made for a quick trip. He went up to the boy’s dormitory, taking the stairs two at a time. His back was to the door when he heard Remus come in and shut it quietly. Sirius could hear the blood pounding in his ears, feel the adrenaline rushing in his veins. 

"Sirius, please." Remus voice was almost pleading. Sirius could hardly process - Remus was trying to apologize. The agony of want, no, not want, need was overcoming him. If Remus thought they could be without each other he was wrong. Sirius felt his blood flow with the need for Remus as much as he ever had. Sirius entire body pulsed with more emotion he thought possible to contain any longer, his chest was constricting him. He turned and before he knew it his lips crashed into Remus's, he could take anyone’s rejection except Moony's. He tried to be gentle but he couldn't be - want had never baptized him more than at this moment. Remus did not push back but rather he kissed back which filled Sirius even more. Remus opened his mouth and Sirius delved his tongue into it, tracing Remus's teeth. Remus reached and bit Sirius's lip, sucking on the fullness of it. 

"Padfoot I didn't-" Remus said pulling back

"I know." Sirius breathed and returned to kissing then he moved his lips to Remus's ear "I should have-"

"I don't care." Remus interrupted then moved his mouth to Sirius's. Sirius had pushed Remus against the cold stonewall, kissing him harder - their tongues teeth and lips fighting for control. Remus pressed himself to Sirius and he could feel the hard erection against his leg. Sirius pushed back wanting Remus to know he felt the same. They both knew what was coming; Sirius could feel it as sure as he felt magic in his body. They never had come this far. It was hard exploring your feelings for one another when there was a group of four and two of them would be left out while two pursued a more intimate relationship. They had shared small stolen kisses here and there; some quiet moments but their full out want had never been fulfilled.

Remus moved his lips to Sirius's neck and began to kiss and bite it. Moving slowly to the collar of his shirt. Pulling at the buttons of it with is free hand. Sirius's fingers held tightly to Remus's hair with one hand while reached to get his lover's robes out of the way. Remus finally exposing Sirius's chest licked and deftly bit his nipple, making Sirius hiss and thrust his hips roughly into Remus. 

Sirius had pictured their first time so many times, practically every morning in the shower. Those fantasies had been ranging from the tender and slow to forcing Remus on all fours and entering him from behind. Sirius had always assumed it would be more gentle their first time, like their first kiss. Sirius's thoughts wandered to that kiss. Remus was lying in the hospital wing their fifth year; it had been a particularly bad full moon. Remus's arms were full of scratches and bites, his chest bruised and bloodied from fighting himself. Madam Pomfrey had just left from rubbing some salve on the fresh wounds. For the first time Sirius saw the deep scars cris-crossing his friend's body. Remus had always been so modest when he dressed, Sirius now knew why. His friend was ashamed of these scars and he needent be. Sirius for the first time in his life felt the bitterness in his mouth that wanted to make him cry for relief of it. He swallowed his tears, choking them down. He delicately brushed a piece of hair from Remus's forehead and whispered, "You'll never be alone again. You'll never go through this without us again." He kissed Remus on the mouth sealing the promise he made. The next week he and James finally managed the change and they became animagi. By the next full moon it was all four of them together, and Remus would never have to be blinded by the moon again. Remus had told Sirius quietly the next day he had heard him in the hospital wing the previous month and then he kissed Sirius. 

Sirius was pulled back to the present by Remus rubbing his palm across the bulge at the front of Sirius's pants. Sirius licked along Remus's neck, tasting the saltiness of his now moist skin. Sirius gripped Remus tightly at the waist, digging his fingers into his flesh, pulling him roughly against his body. Remus laced his fingers in Sirius's hair panting and groaning with desire. Sirius undid Remus's belt, undoing his pants and exposing his large erect prick. Sirius rubbed his hand up it smoothly causing it to throb. Remus, not to be out done, ran one finger through the dark hair on Sirius's flat stomach. He undid Sirius's pants and pushed his hand down the waist band to grasp Sirius's own hard cock. Sirius thrust his hips in a reply. He grasped Remus's cock while swiping one finger gently against his balls. Sirius groaned and forced his mouth back on Remus's as they rubbed and thrust against each other. Remus could feel Sirius's coarse hairs against his own as their pricks rubbed along together. Sirius growled in Remus's ear, "I want you to fuck me hard." Remus groaned and pushed back against Sirius harder than he ever had in reply. Sirius caught off balance for a moment slammed Remus to the wall pushing his hand hard against his erection. Their cocks slipped past one another. Sirius reached around grabbing Remus's smooth muscular arse. Sirius slipped his fingers into the crevice gently rubbing them gently across his hole. Remus moaned and thrust harder and faster, exclaiming as he came.

Stickiness spilled on the two of them as they continued to buck against one another. Sirius, euphoric with his lover's pleasure, wanted to join him and started to thrust faster. But Remus pushed against him; for a moment Sirius was confused and stepped back. Then Remus lowered himself to his knees, taking as much of Sirius as he could in his mouth. Tasting the saltiness of his come and Sirius's pre-come mixed together, he breathed in deeply smelling the intoxicating scent of Sirius. Sirius gripped Remus's head and thrust in his mouth. Remus bobbed and sucked, flicking his tongue along the underside of Sirius's cock. Sirius fucked Remus's mouth harder and faster thrusting his hips. Remus felt Sirius cock throb signaling he was about to be come, so Remus gently grasped Sirius's balls. Sirius came fast filling Remus's mouth, screaming and thrusting as he did.

Sirius leaned his forehead against the cool wall, trying to catch his breath. Remus began to lick the droplets of come he had missed from Sirius's cock. "No," Sirius whispered gently. "No," he said again lowering himself to the floor with Remus. "Don't do that. It's fine." Sirius wrapped his arms around Remus, and Remus did the same to Sirius. Their bodies stuck in an odd half sitting position on the cold hard floor, Sirius had never been more comfortable in his life.


End file.
